بسم الله و الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله
We seem to be obsessed.
The approval of others
fills us with glee and pride.
Admiration
makes us feel like our lives have purpose.
Criticism
cuts our heart and makes us ask ourselves "What am I doing wrong?"
Why do we chain ourselves
to the opinions of others? Why do we enslave ourselves to other human beings
when Allah has created us free? Why do we allow our thoughts to be consumed to
the point of madness by the Dunya and it's minuscule inhabitants,
when they bring us benefit in nothing?
We and forget all
about our Lord. We forget the moments of seclusion, the moments of serenity
when the only thought in our minds is worshiping Allah.
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| And what is more beautiful in this world than sitting alone with your Lord and forgetting all about this world? |
When we are alone with
thoughts only on Allah, we forget about this world so easily.
Why do you care? Why do you
care so much, about what others think about you, about how you dress, how you
look, how many people liked your picture on facebook?
Ask yourself this: If you
had the approval and praise of everyone in the world: What have you gained?
And if you have lost the
approval of Allah, what have you lost? You have lost the only thing that really
matters.
In some cases we may find
ourselves willing to sacrifice our standards, not to please the whole world;
but just one person. We put that person so high that we start to place pleasing
them over pleasing Allah, and even when we are pleasing Allah, we never know
who are intentions are really for.
Does is really matter if
everyone likes you if you don't like yourself? At the end of the day we will be
left only with our own conscious to fill us with guilt and our limbs to testify
to our actions; if we used our lives to please those around us or if we used
our lives to worship Allah and gain His approval.
Of course, making others
happy can be a form of pleasing Allah as well, but not when it becomes
detrimental to yourself. And not when it doesn't come with the sincere
intention to please Allah first above everyone else.
If you place your hopes
your happiness, your self confidence on others, you will only be happy for as
long as those compliments, approval and praise are flowing. And eventually the
stream will dry up-nothing is constant. No matter how much someone loves you
their affection will never be constant, it will never be enough to content you-
Because another human being was never meant to carry your happiness on their
shoulders, when you put all your weight on a twig and it breaks, is it the
twigs fault or is it your fault for holding onto it in the first place? If we
don't learn to get that happiness from the source it was meant to come from:
From Allah, it will always be fleeting, always be temporary. Lao Tzo says
"Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner."
Mother Theresa :
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor
disgrace, because you know who you are."
A man came to the
Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ
عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ and said: “O Messenger of God, direct me to an act, which
if I do, God will love me and people will love me.” He said: “Detach
yourself from the world, and God will love you. Detach yourself from what is
with the people, and the people will love you.” [Ibn Majah]
عَنْ سَهْلِ
بْنِ سَعْدٍ السَّاعِدِيِّ قَالَ أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ
وَسَلَّمَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ دُلَّنِي عَلَى عَمَلٍ إِذَا أَنَا
عَمِلْتُهُ أَحَبَّنِي اللَّهُ وَأَحَبَّنِي النَّاسُ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ
صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ازْهَدْ فِي الدُّنْيَا يُحِبَّكَ اللَّهُ
وَازْهَدْ فِيمَا فِي أَيْدِي النَّاسِ يُحِبُّوكَ
There is nothing more
exhausting to the soul than constantly chasing the approval of others.
Does it matter if everyone
is pleased with you if Allah is not pleased with you?
The main reason we chase
people is because the main thing most of us want is simple: we all want love.
"But at the heart of
what makes us run after the creation, is simply love. The need to give and
receive love. This need has been put in us by the Creator. And every need
created by God, has been created for a purpose. The need to give and receive
love was created as a driver. A driver that pushes us back to God. You see, we
began with God, and God wants us to come back to Him in this life—even before we
come back to Him in the next. So He puts inside us, drivers intended to bring
us back. Intended to bring us back Home." -Yasmin Mogahed
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يَا أَيُّهَا
النَّاسُ ضُرِبَ مَثَلٌ فَاسْتَمِعُوا لَهُ ۚ إِنَّ الَّذِينَ تَدْعُونَ مِنْ
دُونِ اللَّهِ لَنْ يَخْلُقُوا ذُبَابًا وَلَوِ اجْتَمَعُوا لَهُ ۖ وَإِنْ
يَسْلُبْهُمُ الذُّبَابُ شَيْئًا لَا يَسْتَنْقِذُوهُ مِنْهُ ۚ ضَعُفَ
الطَّالِبُ وَالْمَطْلُوبُ
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O mankind! Here is an example for your
understanding, so listen to it carefully. Those beings whom you call besides
Allah, cannot create a single fly, even if they all combined their forces,
rather, if a fly snatches away anything from them they cannot even get it back;
how feebleminded are the suppliants and how powerless are those whom they
supplicate
The
problem lies when we no longer experience ourselves as dependent on Allah, we
become dependent upon each other for our very feeling of existence. We have
forgotten our dependency upon Allah. We have forgotten that no matter how well
people think of us, if we don’t have the approval of God, our time has been
wasted.
Let's ask ourselves from now on in regard to our actions: Am I doing this to please Allah or am I doing this to please human beings? Am I using my energy and efforts to please others in actions I know are displeasing to Allah?
Try to refocus all the energy we put into this world and thinking about others, and instead replace that energy towards what will benefit us in this life and in the afterlife : Pleasing Allah and worshiping Him in the best way.
Detach your thoughts from this world and practice solitude: remove everything from your mind so that it is only you and Allah alone. One of the seven people who are promised shade on the Day of Judgement is "the one who remembers Allah in solitude so that his eyes overflow with tears."
Remember that at the end of
the day, the people you wish to please are nothing more than servants of Allah.
And who would distress themselves pleasing servants when they have to please
the King?
اللهم لا تجعل الدنيا اكبر همنا
All correct and beneficial knowledge is from the mercy and guidance of Allah, and all incorrect information is an unintentional error only from myself. And Allah knows best. والله أعلمُ بالـصـواب
