نُّورٌ عَلَى نُورٍ

Missing my old self.

Its been more than a year since my last post, every now and then I tell myself I will return to my old writing patterns and publish something new, but that has not happened. So much has happened in the last year and life has moved so quickly.
There are so many issues that cross my mind that I would like to write about, and I still do write many short drafts and paragraphs that I wish to make into longer articles, but I never arrive at enough time to complete them. Most of the topics I wish to address nowadays are societal problems, which I feel would be fruitless in my part. When you are a part of the minority and wish to address the problems in the majority of people, you are not going to be reaching the people that actually need to change. And some people, wrongly, will assume that you write these things from a judgmental point of view or that you think you are better than others. That is not true. Whenever I see something that is wrong in society, I want to speak out against it not because I think I am better than others, but because if no one addresses these things, we will never change as a society.

I miss writing dearly. I miss the excitement and enthusiasm of putting my heart, soul, and time into writing a new topic on my blog. I loved the feeling that maybe I could help a few people with the subjects of my writing, and mostly, it inspired myself to always think deeply, and hard about what topics were important to me.

But, I can't miss my old self, because I'm not that person anymore, I've changed for the better, and some of the things I've left of my old self, I miss dearly but I can't go back to the past no matter how much I try.

Whenever I sit down to write, the words don't flow out of me like they used to, sometimes it makes me sad, but in other ways, I'm happy because although it was beneficial for myself and others, I know that I use that time to make myself better in other ways.

Maybe when life calms down I will get back to writing like I used to, but until then, I will keep scribbling quick paragraphs and maybe I will publish those unfinished thoughts of mine.

Change is an inevitable effect of progress and growth. I cannot fight the change within myself, and I have to let go of that which no longer brings me joy like it used to.