Taking Small Steps

بسم الله و الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله

There has inevitably been a moment in all of our lives when we've felt under pressure from a daunting task.  Perhaps you've left a term paper to the very last minute or have an exam tomorrow that you've only just started to prepare for.
Perhaps you sit before the Qur'an in awe and also fearing that you'll never be able to apply yourself enough in order to memorize it.
Perhaps you are unhappy with the current condition of your Iman (faith) and wonder how you will ever manage to connect the dots between where you stand now and where you wish to be.

Taking small steps allows us to stick with our goals without feeling overwhelmed

Instead of using that dissatisfaction to serve as a motivator, many of us push it to the back of our minds so we don't have to feel it. We look at this journey we are venturing on and we see miles and miles of unaccustomed earth, instead of focusing on only the first few steps in front of us.
Anything, no matter how daunting or overwhelming it seems will be made easier by constant and consistent effort. You will never run that mile if you don't take the first steps, you will never finish that book if you don't open the first chapter.

I believe that this fear of taking the first steps and the feeling of being overwhelmed is what holds many back in terms of strengthening their Iman. But we can train ourselves to use this fear to motivate ourselves instead of allowing it to hold us back and make us feel ashamed.
Find the means to close the gap between the person you are and the person you want to be.

We know that if our muscles don't get enough use, they atrophy (waste and wither away.) Likewise, if we are not using our hearts and strengthening our Iman, it will waste away. Physical trainers always warn against exercising at a higher intensity than you are not used to. Why is this?  Because they know that if your muscles are overworked and exerted more than you're used to, it can lead to muscle strains, pain, and injury.
We can reverse the effects of neglecting our Iman, but this has to be done in gradual, consistent steps.
Someone who is out-of-shape hates working out and they'll find the process painful and tiring, but someone who exercises regularly can even become addicted to it, it puts them in a better mood, they get an energy boost and they enjoy challenging themselves and pushing themselves further each time. Just as the first steps towards increasing your Iman will of course be difficult, you won't enjoy the act of worship at first because the Dunya is still beautified in your eyes, but the more we perform acts that please Allah سبحانه وتعالى , the more purified our hearts become, and the more we will enjoy what pleases Him and hate what displeases Him. But if we never make the effort to get up and open the curtains, His light won't be able to shine through. Allah only guides those who want and seek to be guided.

Do not let your excuses control you:
Guilt and regret can weigh down the soul and prevent us from seeking Allah سبحانه وتعالى, shaytan wants you to remain in the same cycle, he wants you to despair in the mercy of Allah (May Allah protect us) and doubt your own ability to change. But change is possible and attainable for everyone. We learn this when we study the lives of the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet). Umar ibn Al Khattab (راضي الله عنه) had attempted to kill the Prophet, he later accepted Islam and became the second Caliph. What a powerful example that we all have the ability to change.
"Islam is easy. No one ever made it difficult without it becoming too much for him. So avoid extremes, strike a balance." (Hadith Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Some of you may be familiar with the children's story of the tortoise and the hare, in this story the two are competing in a race, in the beginning of the race, the hare has a head start and is sure that he will win, because of this arrogance, he stops halfway through and takes a nap, thinking that because the tortoise is so slow, he will never catch up.  In the end the tortoise crosses the finish line first, not because he was the fastest, but because he continued the whole way with constant effort and perseverance. 

Take the first steps and make the change!

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. So instead of taking on huge projects, stick with one change, perfect it, and then attempt more change. You will feel more accomplished, and make more progress on whatever you do when you attempt in steps rather than tackling it all at once. Which is more effective, studying a bit for a subject every day or trying to cram it all in the night before? I'm sure we all know which method leads to better results.

Some people may be able to make a 180 degree change and stick to it, but for most of us, this is just not realistic. Taking on too much change too fast will lead to some people feeling too overworked eventually abandoning all the changes they worked hard to make.
The Prophet Muhammad (عليه صلاة والسلام) told us that the most beloved acts of worship are those that are consistent, even if they are small.
Rather than attempt to improve everything, all at once, we should first strive to improve one thing and remain consistent at it. Small changes over time will make these changes more manageable and less daunting. This is the principle of Istiqamah. (remaining steadfast)

وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا ۚ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

As for those who strive hard in Our cause, We will most certainly guide them in Our ways; and Allah is most surely with the doers of good." (Quran, 29:69)

Remember that spiritual growth and change comes with consistent effort and hard work, you won’t magically wake up one day and find that you have become the ideal version of yourself, you have to make the conscious effort and decision to become that person. The journey to spiritual growth is also rife with failure and shortcomings…there may be days when you wonder why you made this resolution to change yourself and feel hopeless. Although we should avoid falling into this state, when you come upon a river in your path, you can either swim through it and reach your destination or you can remain standing where you are and never get further from that point.

Learn everyday to let the space between where you are and where you want to be inspire you instead of terrify you.
"Guidance is not attained except with knowledge and correct direction is not attained except with patience." -Ibn Taymiyyah

Change comes gradually, there is no such this as reaching spiritual perfection. So don't seek to be perfect, don't seek to be sinless for we are all human and we're all prone to making mistakes. Simply seek to grow and always improve in your Iman.

There is a popular saying, "The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem." I'd say the first step to strengthening our Iman is admitting that it is weak, and if you already recognize that and you know you have a desire to change, you have already undergone possibly one of the most difficult parts. The next step is simply putting that realization into action.

Take those first steps, for even if they're small, it's always better than standing still.

May Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) make our steps towards Him easy and give us Istiqama in our actions.
May Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) send us the necessary guidance to allow us to turn back to Him.

All correct and beneficial knowledge is from the mercy and guidance of Allah, and all incorrect information is an unintentional error only from myself. And Allah knows best. والله أعلمُ بالـصـواب

Feeling Empty

In previous posts, we have discussed different ways to achieve happiness.  But in some cases, even when everything in your life seems to be alright and we know we should be happy, we still have an empty space in our soul. Even if you lead an incredibly successful life on the surface, a life full of wealth, success and popularity cannot mask a deeper problem: the problem of an empty soul.

The human soul was designed specifically to worship Allah alone,
وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنْسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ
"I have not created jinns and mankind except to worship Me." (51:56)
Because of this every soul has a natural desire to serve a higher power, when they don’t find that in the fulfillment of worship, they search for something else to fill that hole.  But when you fill that hole with anything from the Dunya, it will always be depleted.  It is like trying to pour water into a bucket with a hole in it.  Anything you pour in needs to be replaced almost immediately. Until you mend the bucket, everything you pour into it will be lost. Similarly, until we mend the foundation of our hearts, and find fulfillment from the right source (from Allah), everything we pour into our heart and soul will be lost as well.

Our souls were made by Allah, for Allah.  It is an inherent need of everyone (whether a Muslim or not) to connect to their Creator. That’s why so many people spend years searching for a religion that will fulfill them. It is important to note that most converts to Islam were those who studied not just Islam, but studied all of the world’s religions before they finally discovered Islam and found the religion that offered them everything they were looking for in terms of fulfillment and contentment in life.
We are all looking for God, sometimes, when we don’t find Him, we attempt to fill the emptiness in our hearts with something else.
On the journey to Allah there are many distractions, all promising to give us what we need, all competing for our attention and a space in our heart.  But the fulfillment these physical “things” offer are never permanent. Remember that the creation can never compete with the Creator. Another person cannot fulfill you if you are not already fulfilled from you relationship with Allah, neither can material objects, wealth, or seeking enjoyment and fun.
قَالَ أَتَعْبُدُونَ مَا تَنْحِتُونَ وَاللَّهُ خَلَقَكُمْ وَمَا تَعْمَلُونَ
"'Would you worship that which you have carved with your own hands,' he said, 'when it was God who created you and all that you have made?'" (37:92) 
Follow the magazines, advertisements, and movies and they will give you the perfect formula for always depleting your stores of happiness, because this is how they make money.
Are cars advertised, “This will bring you happiness for a few days, but then you will feel empty again”? No, because their job is to convince you that you need whatever they are offering. Shaitan works in a similar way.  He tricks you into believing you’re not happy because of the restrictions you put on yourself.  That you will be happier if only you “lighten up,” and have more fun.
When we turn to the Dunya to distract us from this pain and emptiness, we are simply dulling the feeling-Taking pain killers will make you feel better, but only for a while. When the effects wear off it will return worse than before, because we are covering up the pain but not curing the source of the pain.
He tricks you into thinking that the temptations and lures of this world will make you happy, when really, it will leave that hole gaping wider than ever before.
Allah calls us away from attachment to the Dunya, and away from seeking frivolous temptations.
وَمَاالْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ
"The life of this world is nothing but a fleeting vanity." (3:185)
Everything from that Dunya that you chase is just a delusion, just like when you approach a mirage in the desert, the closer you move towards it, just when you think you will finally attain it, the further it moves out of reach.
Don’t listen to what society tells you you need to be happy.  There will always be a company telling you their product will give you happiness, shaitan will always be ready to whisper in your ear, giving you false ideas of what will meet your needs for filling the emptiness.
وَلَا تَتَّبِعُواخُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ ۚ إِنَّهُ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ مُبِينٌ 
"Do not follow in satan's footsteps, for he is an open enemy to man." (2:168)
Don’t obey society or shaitan, but instead obey Allah. Who knows what the soul needs better than He who created our souls?
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ أَنتُمُ الْفُقَرَاءُ إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ هُوَ الْغَنِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ
“Mankind, it is you who stand in need of God. And God is free of need.” (35:15)
Never forget that it is WE who need Allah.  He does not need us. Therefore, we know that whatever we do, will be of ultimate benefit for ourselves. It doesn't affect Him whether or not you pray to Him or remember Him. Allah is already Great, He is in no need of our prayers. He rewards us for obeying Him, and He orders us to do only that which will benefit us.

“The only one who can truly satisfy the human heart is the One who made it.”

What about those of us who worship Allah correctly, and try to stay away from attachment to temporary things.  Why do these people still feel empty?  These are those who pray, fast, read Qur’an but somehow still feel disconnected from Allah.  For those people, I would recommend self-evaluating and reflection.  In this case the main cause of feeling empty and unsatisfied with our connection to Allah is when we allow our actions of worship to become habits. We may find ourselves praying or reading Qur’an without really reflecting upon the words we are saying, and our minds are wandering elsewhere. We often overemphasize the physical act of worship but we forget about the more important internal worship of the heart. We can fix this problem by making ourselves more aware of how we prioritize our time, and whether we are actually present when we are remembering Allah. Without a constant state of improvement, these actions can become habits and we take for granted having a close relationship with Allah, so the connection becomes weak.  We can strengthen the connection by always striving to learn more, and improve.
Ask yourself:
Do you spend as much time on your Islamic education as you do your University education, your business or your career?
Do you put as much effort into strengthening your relationship with Allah as your relationships with your family and friends?
When we answer these questions honestly we can target where our weaknesses lie and how we can overcome them.
We are told many times in the Magnificent Quran to “Reflect upon the signs of Allah,” just as we reflect upon these signs, we must also remember to reflect upon ourselves, otherwise, we will never be able to target the weak spots in our Iman, and the aspects of ourselves we need to improve on.  If we go through life blindly we may be approaching "hub al-dunya" without even realizing it, and just like falling into quicksand, once you fall in it is difficult and painful to get back out again.
If you’re performing Fardh only, you may be doing enough in order to protect yourself from major sins, but you are not doing enough to completely satisfy your heart and the heart's need to be close to Allah. Just because something is optional doesn't mean we shouldn't make it necessary for ourselves. If you've abandoned Qur’an, (reciting or memorizing) abandoned Sunnah, and abandoned attaining beneficial knowledge, then you have also abandoned some of the major ways you can fill your empty heart.

“Be to Allah as He wishes, and He will be to you more than you can wish for.”-Ibn Al-Qayyim

The world is like a barren desert to the soul, causing its starvation.  Our only source of nourishment is through closeness to Allah. Allah invites our souls to feast 5 times a day! Because only with a constant in flow of nourishment can we survive. If you're not awake during those key moments of connecting with Allah, you may as well be doing yoga, because your soul is not going to benefit. Be awake, be present, and take advantage of the precious time Allah grants us to connect to Him.
Our hearts battle many difficulties in the day.  Dealing with the tarnish of minor sins we may commit daily, the daily struggle of staying away from hub al dunya and satisfying the nafs. Anything that was not created for a certain place cannot thrive in it.  Just like when you remove an animal from its natural habitat and place it in the desert, it will become weak and won’t be able to thrive.  Our hearts were not meant to thrive here, in the Dunya, therefore Allah has created for us certain tools to make it easier for us. These tools make us closer to Allah, therefore returning our hearts to the states they were designed to live in!
يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ أَن يُخَفِّفَ عَنكُمْ وَخُلِقَ الْإِنسَانُ ضَعِيفًا
“And Allah wishes to make light your burdens, for man was created weak.” (4:28)

You may think emptiness is a bad thing, but if it reminds you of what is really missing in your life, and reminds you to turn back to Allah and put Him as your first priority, then this may really be good for us.  He empties us of our love of this world and our love of ourselves so that we may be filled with something greater: so that we may be filled with love of Him.

Fill yourself with a knowledge and awareness of Allah and you will see His signs everywhere around you, and you will never again feel empty, never again feel alone.

And He is with you wheresoever you may be.

DISCLAIMER: Enjoying your life is not haram and having fun is not haram.  There are many things Allah blessed us with for the sole purpose of enjoying them! Having fun is not haram (as long as it stays within the bounds of halal) But we have to be careful not to make fun our number one priority, instead of Allah.

DISCLAIMER:  This post is referring to the moderate sadness (emptiness) that we are all prone to feeling from time to time, not those who are affected by serious psychological illnesses and depression.

All correct and beneficial knowledge is from the mercy and guidance of Allah, and all incorrect information is an unintentional error only from myself. And Allah knows best.

Have Faith in Allah's Timing

قُلْ لَا يَعْلَمُ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ الْغَيْبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ ۚ وَمَا يَشْعُرُونَ أَيَّانَ يُبْعَثُونَ 

“Say: No one in the heavens or the earth have knowledge of what is hidden except  God.  Nor shall men ever know when they will be raised to life.” (Quran, 27:65)

Why do we always want everything
right now?

When I was younger, I always thought that when I make dua, as long as I had faith in Allah سبحانه و تعالى  and pray to Him as consistently as I could, He would grant me whatever I asked for. And so I poured my heart out in Salah, but I was impatient, I didn't yet understand that just because I want something, it doesn't mean that it’s the best thing for me.

وَيَدْعُ الْإِنْسَانُ بِالشَّرِّ دُعَاءَهُ بِالْخَيْرِ ۖ وَكَانَ الْإِنْسَانُ عَجُولًا 

 “Yet man prays for evil as fervently as he prays for good.  And mankind is ever hasty in his judgments.” (17:11)

I was treating dua as if it’s amazon.com, enter your order and your package will be delivered in 3 days. There is no time frame on the delivery of Dua!  Having faith (تَوَكُّل‎) in Allah means that we must have faith in His timing. 

This brings us to three questions: 1.Why can't I be patient? 2.Why does Allah want me to wait? and 3.How can I increase my patience?

1. Why can't I be patient?

We all know that patience (صَبْرٌ) is one of the most important qualities for a believer to possess.  All of us have struggled to be patient at one point in our lives.  A lot of us are probably dealing with matters that make us impatient right now. You struggle to be patient because you believe that your plans are better than what Allah has planned for you. (May Allah protect us from such thoughts.)  But we forget, that Allah is the Best of Planners and The Knower of All العليم.  Allah knows what is best for you, and when it is best for you to have it.

An ayah that always calms my heart when I am feeling anxious and fearful of future matters is from Surah Kahf, when Moses' companion says to him:

قَالَ إِنَّكَ لَنْ تَسْتَطِيعَ مَعِيَ صَبْرًا

وَكَيْفَ تَصْبِرُ عَلَىٰ مَا لَمْ تُحِطْ بِهِ خُبْرًا 

“’You will not bear with me,’ replied the other. ‘For how can you bear with that which is beyond your knowledge.’” (18:67-68)

Similarly, we may feel that we cannot bear certain matters and we cannot bear waiting because we have no knowledge of the unseen. 

How can you bear your burdens when you don't realize, that everything Allah has ordained for you, (even waiting) has a purpose?

2. Why does Allah want me to wait?

When some people are afflicted with trials or hardships, they turn to Allah devoutly, and become the most faithful believers for a short time (twjihi students come to mind) yet when they reach their goals they turn back to their ways of heedlessness.

وَإِذَا مَسَّ الْإِنْسَانَ ضُرٌّ دَعَا رَبَّهُ مُنِيبًا إِلَيْهِ ثُمَّ إِذَا خَوَّلَهُ نِعْمَةً مِنْهُ نَسِيَ مَا كَانَ يَدْعُو إِلَيْهِ مِنْ قَبْلُ وَجَعَلَ لِلَّهِ أَنْدَادًا لِيُضِلَّ عَنْ سَبِيلِهِ ۚ قُلْ تَمَتَّعْ بِكُفْرِكَ قَلِيلًا ۖ إِنَّكَ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّارِ 

“When evil befalls man, he prays to his Lord and turns to Him in repentance; yet no sooner does He bestow on him His favour than he forgets what he has prayed for and makes other dieties God’s equals.” (39:8)

فَإِذَا مَسَّ الْإِنْسَانَ ضُرٌّ دَعَانَا ثُمَّ إِذَا خَوَّلْنَاهُ نِعْمَةً مِنَّا قَالَ إِنَّمَا أُوتِيتُهُ عَلَىٰ عِلْمٍ ۚ بَلْ هِيَ فِتْنَةٌ وَلَٰكِنَّ أَكْثَرَهُمْ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ 

“When man is afflicted by trouble, he calls out to Us; but when We bestow Our favor upon him, he says: "This has been given to me because of certain knowledge I possess." Nay! It is but a test, yet most of them do not know.” (39:49)

As we can see from the above ayat, patience is a form of test, and we should always be wary of turning our backs to Allah once we have been blessed with goodness.  Remember that most good things take time, and what comes fast, may go faster. 

Understand that Allah is not ignoring your dua.  Allah is المجيب (The Responder to Prayer), but He responds at His pace, not our pace.  How foolish are we to rush He who is the controller of time and the controller of our affairs? 

وَمَا اللَّهُ يُرِيدُ ظُلْمًا لِلْعِبَادِ 

“God wills no injustice against His servants.” (40:31) 

If what you desire is best for you, Allah has all the power to give you what you wish for immediately:

بَدِيعُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ۖ وَإِذَا قَضَىٰ أَمْرًا فَإِنَّمَا يَقُولُ لَهُ كُنْ فَيَكُونُ 

 “…and when He wills a thing to be, He but says unto it, "Be" - and it is.” (2:117)

But if you find yourself waiting, it must be because Allah sees it good for you to wait.  Maybe because waiting for something will increase your gratitude, or Allah is waiting to bless you with something better than what you have asked for.  If you approach Allah with an impatient heart, this could be why your dua is not being answered.

If you are making dua, already impatient for Allah's response, know that your dua will not be answered until you come to Allah with a humble, patient heart, ready to be content with what Allah bestows or withholds from you.

The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "The invocation of any one of you is granted as long as he does not show impatience by saying 'I have invoked Allah but my request has not been answered.'" (Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari)

There is a saying, "The teacher appears when the student is ready."

Similarly, what you pray for will appear when you are ready for it!  And if it doesn't, you can be sure that Allah is protecting you from something that would have proved a barrier towards Him, or He is waiting to bless you with something better than what you've asked for.

The way in which the Quran was revealed is in itself a sign to us.  Although Allah could have revealed the Quran all at once, He revealed it over 23 years.

وَقَالَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لَوْلَا نُزِّلَ عَلَيْهِ الْقُرْآنُ جُمْلَةً وَاحِدَةً ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ لِنُثَبِّتَ بِهِ فُؤَادَكَ ۖ وَرَتَّلْنَاهُ تَرْتِيلًا 

“And those who disbelieve say: Why is the Qur'an not revealed unto him all at once? (It is revealed) thus that We may strengthen thy heart therewith; and We have arranged it in right order.” (25:32)

There would be months at a time when the Prophet wouldn't receive revelations, and during this time he was susceptible to despair, after which the following ayah was revealed:

 مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَىٰ 

"Your lord has not forsaken you nor is He displeased." (93:3)

Nothing is revealed all at once, just as the Quran was revealed slowly, the destiny of your life will unravel and reveal itself to you over time. And practicing patience is a way for us to strengthen our faith. But do not be impatient:

خُلِقَ الْإِنْسَانُ مِنْ عَجَلٍ ۚ سَأُرِيكُمْ آيَاتِي فَلَا تَسْتَعْجِلُونِ 

 “Man is a creature of haste (impatience) You shall before long see My signs: you need not ask Me to hasten them.” (21:37)

Before long Allah's blessings will be bestowed upon you, for He is the most Just and gives everything in due measure.

3. How can I increase my patience?

We can increase our patience by submitting ourselves completely to the will of Allah, having complete reliance on Him in all matters, both seen and unseen.  Tawakul does not mean that we make no efforts to reach our goals but rather, we realize that both success and failure come at the will of Allah, and there exist blessings and lessons in both.

Studying the lives of the Prophets is an excellent way to gain insight into the trials they faced and the patience they showed which should serve as examples for us.  The Prophet Job أيّوب had his wealth, children, health and spouse taken from him, and he didn't submit to despair throughout all of his trials. When he had been sick for 7 years, his wife asked him why he did not supplicate to God to relieve his affliction.  He replied that he had lived in wealth for 8 years, and was too embarrassed to ask God to heal him when his time of ease overcame his time of hardship. Instead, he exemplified perfect compliance and patience with what befell him. 

Don't stress about the future because no matter how well you have planned it, you could never possibly plan it as well as Allah already has.

Learn to leave your cares and your worries with Allah, for nothing is lost that is in His care.

لَا يَضِلُّ رَبِّي وَلَا يَنْسَى

"My Lord never errs nor does He forget." (20:52)

He does not make mistakes when it comes to His servants and He does not forget their prayers.

When we resolve to have patience we free ourselves from the chains of anxiety and distress, if you believe that Allah will  give you all due things in time, the heart will finally know peace. Nothing is more stressful than fretting about the unknown, for none of us can understand it but Allah! 

I know that we all become impatient, and we all are eager to see the destiny of our lives unfold, but instead of asking Allah to bless us with what we want, when we want it, let us learn to pray that Allah bless us with what we desire when the timing is best.

“…Whoever strives to be patient, Allah will make him patient.” (Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari)

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ ۖ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ ۖ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ 

“When my servants question you about Me, then indeed I am near. I answer the prayer of every suppliant when he calls Me; therefore, they should respond to Me and put their trust in Me, so that they may be rightly guided.” (2:186)

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ 

“O' You who believe! Seek My help with patience and prayer: surely, Allah is with those who are patient.” (2: 153)

Ya Allah, may we always have faith in Your timing, and may you make us of those who are able to bear the burden of waiting and bear with that which we have no knowledge.

Gratitude (Happiness: Part Two)

وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا ۗ إِنَّ الْإِنْسَان لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارَ

“And if you were to count the favors of your Lord, never will you be able to count them.  Indeed is man ungrateful.” (Quran, 14:34)

…Yet why is it that human nature is such that we usually count our hardships instead of our blessings?  Modern psychology has even proven that we are more likely to remember bad memories than good ones.

One of the bitter facts of life is that most things cannot be appreciated until they have been lost.

Allah tells us in the Quran that man was created weak, and I'm sure none of us could disagree with that fact.

Imam Al-Ghazali says "Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes helps me and sometimes opposes me."

Part of this inherent weakness is our lack of gratitude. We take what we have for granted, and never consider it until it has been withheld from us. Being deprived of the things we love is one of the few ways to allow us to renew our appreciation and see our blessings in a new light.

Consider the blessed month of Ramadan: We all struggle with the hunger, thirst, and tire of the daily fasts, but let's talk about that moment we all anticipate: that first sip of water.  Does one ever savor the taste of water as much as after a day of fasting?

Most converts to Islam will tell you that they have never felt true peace in their lives until they made sujood  for the first time (bowing the head in prayer), yet we who have been born and raised Muslim struggle to feel anything at all, in fact, we rush to get prayer over with!  We are so accustomed that we start to take this direct link to Allah for granted, and we show no gratitude. 

Let’s take an economics lesson, (admittedly not a field I excel in, but I’ll try) when there is a scarcity of a certain product, it increases or appreciates in value.  Likewise when we are deprived of certain blessings, what we have appreciates in value, and we begin to appreciate it more.

Everyone prefers an easy life but it is only through adversity and struggle that we are able to grow and evolve, and therefore, make our faith and dependency on Allah stronger.

When a plant is showered with light and water it thrives and grows beautifully. But it is weak. Take these resources away and it will quickly shrivel and die. It cannot survive harsh conditions. But a plant that is given those things in small doses and deprived for long stretches of time, like a cactus is deprived of water, is strong.  It can survive adversity, it rations and it adapts.  Such is the state of man. When faced with a bit of adversity his faith is prone to grow weak, unless he adapts and learns to use his resources more wisely.

وَلَئِنْ أَذَقْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ مِنَّا رَحْمَةً ثُمَّ نَزَعْنَاهَا مِنْهُ إِنَّهُ لَيَئُوسٌ كَفُور

  وَلَئِنْ أَذَقْنَاهُ نَعْمَاءَ بَعْدَ ضَرَّاءَ مَسَّتْهُ لَيَقُولَنَّ ذَهَبَ السَّيِّئَاتُ عَنِّي ۚ إِنَّهُ لَفَرِحٌ فَخُورٌ 

"If We show man Our mercy and then withhold it from him, he yields to despair and becomes ungrateful.  And if after adversity We let him taste good fortune, he says: 'Gone are my sorrows from me,' and grows boastful and glories only in himself." (11:9-10)

An Arab poet said:
"Sunshine all the times makes a desert." Good things are not always good for us in unlimited amounts. No one can argue that sunshine is good, just as blessings and ease are good.  But we often make the mistake of linking tests to hardships.  It may be that Allah chooses to test you with abundance, to see if you will be grateful.

Gratitude turns whatever you have into enough.

Let's turn our expectations in life into appreciation. Show more gratitude towards the blessings which enrich our lives instead of taking them for granted. Even hardships can leave us with something to be grateful for, for when facing hardships, we are forced to reflect on the state of our Iman and the state of our character.  And most of us have never faced a trial we have not grown better from.

In contrast to the one who is ungrateful, The Prophet Muhammed (صلّى الله عليه وسلّم) describes the position of the firm believer, "Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks Allah and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the believer.”

If you are not happy with what you have right now, chances are you will not appreciate what you have even when you are blessed with more.  If you seek to quench the thirst for wealth and other worldly desires, know that it will never quenched.  When we follow this desire, we let it become our master.

 “…if the son of Adam has one valley of gold, he will wish that he had a second, and if he had two valleys, he would wish that he had a third. The stomach of the son of Adam will be filled only with dust (he is never satisfied)…”  (Sahih Bukhari)

When you are always searching for what you don't have, you undervalue all the blessings Allah has already bestowed upon you.  The one who always asks and asks without showing gratitude for what he already has will find that his soul (نفس) will never be satisfied.
"Allah's generosity is connected to gratitude, and gratitude is linked to increase an in His generosity. The generosity of Allah will not stop increasing unless the gratitude of the servant ceases." -Ali ibn Abu Talib (RA)

Instead of starving our souls by dwelling upon all that is bad in our lives, let us feed our souls by reflecting and thanking Allah for all that is good. 

Why do we water the weeds in our lives instead of the flowers?

To quote artist Henri Matisse: "There are always flowers for those who want to see them."

In the words of Rumi, "Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life." The more you are thankful for something, the more it will increase its value in your eyes.

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِنْ شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِنْ كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ 

And remember when your Lord declared, 'If you are grateful to Me, I shall most certainly give you more but if you are ungrateful, verily, My chastisement will be severe indeed!'" (14:7)