Why isn't my iman constant?

Our health, wealth, fortunes, and destiny, all rise and fall according to the will of Allah. And just like all of those things, our iman is no exception. Iman is not

exempt from rising and falling with the tides of our lives. It rises and falls according to Allah's will, and according to our deeds, which may aid it in rising, or

speed up it's detrimental fall. This, like all that resides in Allah's hands, is in His wisdom. Because if our iman was constant, like the one who has a constant

flow of wealth without having to lift a finger and work for it, we would not have to work, and strive, and pray for Allah's guidance. We would not be as grateful for Allah's blessing in bestowing Iman upon us, and we would not fear committing sins which will diminish the Iman in our hearts.

The nature of the Dunya is such that nothing is ever constant. It takes you up, down, and around, throws you back on the ground. Nothing remains, everything fades, and what you once thought was lasting will soon turn to dust.

We know our bodies will decay, our bones turned to fine powder, but we know what remains: Our souls. So how can we live IN this Dunya, without letting the forces of the Dunya penetrate our hearts, minds, and souls? How can we, in this ever changing world, find consistency and find constant Iman, that is not afflicted to the roller-coaster ups and downs that comes with everything in this life?

Anything accelerating at a constant rate will eventually have to stop. When you reach the top of the hill, you have to go back down. We know from the law of gravity that anything that goes up must also come back down.

Is this also true in terms of Iman? Why does Iman not stay constant? Why does it fluctuate with constant highs and lows? How can I get off this roller coaster of disappointment and keep going uphill?

Is Iman, like the apple that falls out of the tree, destined to eventually fall to the ground?

That’s where we’re wrong. Iman is not the apple, but the TREE. The tree is able to grow upwards tall and reach the sky, it doesn’t fall down, because it’s roots are deep.

Strong iman requires constant upkeep. You can plant a beautiful garden, but the garden will quickly wither and the plants die if you don’t constantly water and care for them, and pull out the weeds. 

When I fall, this reminds me of my own lowness, my own humility and it reminds me that I am nothing if it were not for the guidance and mercy of Allah. It reminds me that my journey will never reach completion and one can easily fall backwards if we’re not careful to always keep our feet on the gas pedal.

The Prophet صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said: By Allah other than whom there is no God, one of you acts like the people of Paradise until he is but an arm’s length from it, and what is written overtakes him so he acts like the people of Hellfire and he enters it. Verily, one of you acts like the people of Hellfire until he is but an arm’s length from it, and what is written overtakes him so he acts like the people of Paradise and he enters it.”

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

 فَوَالَّذِي لَا إِلَهَ غَيْرُهُ إِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ حَتَّى مَا يَكُونُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا إِلَّا ذِرَاعٌ فَيَسْبِقُ عَلَيْهِ الْكِتَابُ فَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ فَيَدْخُلُهَا وَإِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ حَتَّى مَا يَكُونُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا إِلَّا ذِرَاعٌ فَيَسْبِقُ عَلَيْهِ الْكِتَابُ فَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ فَيَدْخُلُهَا

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The faith of a servant is not upright until his heart is upright, and his heart is not upright until his tongue is upright. A man will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his evil.”

عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَا يَسْتَقِيمُ إِيمَانُ عَبْدٍ حَتَّى يَسْتَقِيمَ قَلْبُهُ وَلَا يَسْتَقِيمُ قَلْبُهُ حَتَّى يَسْتَقِيمَ لِسَانُهُ وَلَا يَدْخُلُ رَجُلٌ الْجَنَّةَ لَا يَأْمَنُ جَارُهُ بَوَائِقَهُ

The heart  “qalb” takes its name from it’s constant changes “taqallub” the likeness of the heart is that of a feather, being turned over and over by the wind. 

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah the Exalted said to the soul: Go forth! It replied: I will not go except reluctantly.”

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏ قَالَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى لِلنَّفَسِ‏ اخْرُجِي قَالَتْ‏ لاَ أَخْرُجُ إِلاَّ كَارِهَةً

So the heart, though it may be strong in Iman one moment and hating sin one moment, may change quickly if we are not vigilant in protecting it from Shaytan, the dunya, and the Nafs. The minute we lose focus and stop questioning our own actions and intentions, (whether they are for the sake of Allah or not?) is the minute these forces may overcome us.  

Remember that we have all been guided by none other than the mercy of Allah, and the thought of losing that guidance is truely terrifying.

وَكُنْتُمْ عَلَىٰ شَفَا حُفْرَةٍ مِنَ النَّارِ فَأَنْقَذَكُمْ مِنْهَا ۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ آيَاتِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَهْتَدُونَ

"...you were at the brink of the fiery pit and He saved you from it. Thus Allah makes His revelations clear to you, so that you may be rightly guided." (3:103)

وَوَجَدَكَ ضَالًّا فَهَدَىٰ

"Did He not find you lost and gave you guidance?" (93:7)

We know that however firm we feel in our iman now, there is no consistency except for those who constantly fear Allah in all of their actions and constantly try to purify their hearts and become better believers every day

Righteousness is not a destination. When you have a destination, you have a set start and finish line. We have no finish line, because we are always seeking and striving to be better. Righteousness is a continuous journey, every day you wake up for Fajr and the process starts again.

In the spiritual world, the heart is either growing in Iman or decaying.

Purification of the soul is not a state, it is an ongoing process. Everyday. Cannot become passive habits and actions.

Once you start a fire, you can’t leave it to burn on its own, you need to keep tending to it or the flame will go out.

Spiritual progress must be continuous! For an airplane to fly it has to keep moving forward, the minute it stops, it drops!
We need to realize that the “spiritual high” doesn’t last. You need constant effort and work on the days when motivation doesn’t come. If you think you’ve reached your spiritual peak, think again. We don’t reach the top until we reach Jannah, it is a constant uphill journey. If you stop moving, you’ll roll backwards. 

Iman, left alone, will not be constant. Nothing in this life is constant. It requires effort. So the key to making sure our iman isn't falling is to ensure that it is growing by the day. 

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ الْعَاصِ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ الْإِيمَانَ لَيَخْلَقُ فِي جَوْفِ أَحَدِكُمْ كَمَا يَخْلَقُ الثَّوْبُ الْخَلِقُ فَاسْأَلُوا اللَّهَ أَنْ يُجَدِّدَ الْإِيمَانَ فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ

 The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the faith of one of you will diminish just as a shirt becomes worn out, so ask Allah to renew faith in your hearts.

As the soul becomes purified and develops an aversion for sin, the space which was once filled with evil desires empties and has an earnest desire to be filled with love and worship of Allah. The more we clean our heart and avert from sin, the stronger that desire becomes.

The more we purify our heart of sins, the more we make evil hated to us and free the space it took in our hearts, the more space needs to be filled with love for Allah

Therefore with every passing day as we free ourselves from sin, we should be increasing in our worship and improving our deen. 

You will never reach your full spiritual potential if we are not constantly striving to grow in iman.

Can the adult be fed the same amount as the baby and live?

No, because as we are growing, the needs of our bodies are growing also; they need more to sustain them or they will die. Thus the more we grow in our iman, the more food we should provide to nourish our hearts.

An athlete who wants to gain muscle can’t keep lifting the same weight and expect to see improvement, the body will adjust and will stop gaining muscle. Unless he constantly increases the resistance, increases the weight he is lifting he won’t see any change. 

If you have not improved on your worship in one year, our even one month, know that you are not taking the necessary steps to keep your iman constant, the mu'min should always be seeking improvement in all aspects our his worship. 

Worship (Ibaadah) is a collective term for everything which Allah loves and is pleased with from among the sayings and inward and outward actions.

Iman is affected not only by our level of worship but also by our knowledge of Allah (knowledge of deen), our characters, our hidden thoughts and actions, our treatment of others. So increasing iman is not simply synonymous with increasing our worship, we must search and rectify anything which may be displeasing to Allah. 

A man will continue to increase in faith until he becomes assured of himself that he has attained faith. As soon as he becomes assured of himself, that is when his faith has begun to wither. He becomes self-satisfied with his own actions and doesn't feel the need to improve. In order to protect ourselves from this we must constantly remind ourselves:

1) That we have many weaknesses we must improve on.

2) No matter how much we worship, it will never reach the amount of worship Allah deserves from us as His servants (therefore, we should try to do more every day)
3) Our heart is constantly changing, so we must never stop praying to Allah to make our faith firm

4) Without growth, our iman will decay.

Those that work and struggle and try to be firm; Allah will increase them in faith.

Remember that Islam is a state of becoming not a state of being. It's not about being perfect, but it's about striving to become obedient in all that Allah decrees: We will never be obedient in all things, this is impossible because we all sin daily, but it is in striving, and trying that we find our salvation and mercy from Allah.

يَا أَيُّهَا الْإِنسَانُ إِنَّكَ كَادِحٌ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ كَدْحًا فَمُلَاقِيهِ

O thou man! Verily thou art ever toiling on towards thy Lord- painfully toiling,- but thou shalt meet Him.(84:6)

Back to School Blues: Do your kids hate school?

Kids hate school?-A sign of something more serious

Along with the shouts of protesting children everywhere, comes the dreaded first day of school.
Some kids are excited to get back to school, progress on their learning, see their friends and exchange stories about the break. While others dread the approach of school, the return of constant rules, routine, and boring structure. The days spent uncomprehending in the classroom, being lectured by teachers and parents to "Pay attention and work harder," and the self-consciousness accompanied by feeling behind and not as good as their peers, who seem to understand everything much better than them.
We train kids to dread the school year, then during break, they also take a learning break! This teaches them that learning is not an integral part of life, it's something that stops when school stops, it's something we need to take a break from, therefore, something negative. So why is the place where kids spend so much of their time associated with such negative feelings for some children?

I urge parents this semester, to watch their children's behavior as closely as they watch their test grades. It seems to me that our school systems today completely strip students of the ability to individualize their learning and expect student to all fit into the same box.

Why is it that we expect diverse minds to learn in the same exact way?

Allah سبحانه وتعالى has brought diversity in every creation : 

"Certainly, your efforts and deeds are diverse." (92:4)

وَمَا خَلَقَ الذَّكَرَ وَالْأُنثَىٰ

إِنَّ سَعْيَكُمْ لَشَتَّىٰ

Yet, we don't respect these diverse skills and abilities and expect everyone to learn in the same way. 

Okay, let's just say this, it's true, not all kids are geniuses in our traditional understanding of the word. There is not one way to be smart, in our day, smart means you must be able to memorize flawlessly and anticipate the desired answer to every fill-in-the-blank. Some people's minds can't be boxed and restricted in that way. Some are good at memorizing, some may be creative, logical, comprehensive. The fact that modern school systems expect all brains to learn in the same way is why we praise those children who fit into this flawed system, and those who don't are made to feel less and inferior.

“Certainly, trying to teach the head while ignoring the body and emotions may account for a great deal of school failure.” 

― Jane M. Healy, Endangered Minds: Why Children Dont Think And What We Can Do About It

Many parents may think their kids don't like learning-but in most cases this is not true. A more likely scenario is that kids don't like school, and since they only associate learning with school, by association, they are reluctant to "learn" as well. Learning becomes a burden, not something they appreciate and feel blessed to do. Learning is measured only by test scores, students become consumed with the goal to become the first in their class, not with the desire to learn to enrich their lives, and increase their knowledge of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. 

ثَنَا ابْنُ وَهْبٍ قَالَ قَالَ مَالِكٌ الْعِلْمُ نُورٌ يَجْعَلُهُ اللَّهُ حَيْثُ يَشَاءُ لَيْسَ بِكَثْرَةِ الرِّوَايَةِ

Al-Qadi Iyad reported: Malik, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “Knowledge is not memorizing many narrations. Verily, knowledge is only a light that Allah places in the hearts.”

عن ابن عبد البر قَالَ سُفْيَانُ الثَّوْرِيُّ رحمه الله إِنَّمَا يُتَعَلَّمُ الْعِلْمُ لِيُتَّقَى اللَّهُ بِهِ وَإِنَّمَا فُضِّلَ الْعِلْمُ عَلَى غَيْرِهِ لأَنَّهُ يُتَّقَى اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بِهِ

Ibn Abdul Barr reported: Sufyan Ath-Thawri, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “Verily, knowledge is only studied to become mindful of Allah. Verily, knowledge is only favored over other virtues because one is made conscious of Allah by it.”

اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ

خَلَقَ الْإِنسَانَ مِنْ عَلَقٍ

اقْرَأْ وَرَبُّكَ الْأَكْرَمُ

الَّذِي عَلَّمَ بِالْقَلَمِ

عَلَّمَ الْإِنسَانَ مَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ

(صدق الله العظيم)

Read in the name of your Lord Who created.

He created the human being from a clot.

Recite: Thy Lord is the Most Generous

He Who taught by the pen

He taught the human being what he knows not (Surah Al-Alaq 96)

We know as believers how important it is to appreciate all of the blessings of Allah سبحانه وتعالى upon us, especially His blessing of bestowing upon us knowledge from His wisdom and mercy. It's never too early to teach children to appreciate this blessing and strive to excel in whatever area they are talented in for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

If you set the fire of knowledge in youngsters' minds, it will keep burning on its own. That burning desire to learn and discover doesn't just fade away. But in order to create that love for learning we have to ensure the environment is open, encouraging, inspiring and nurturing. 

Honestly, I don't think our schools do a very good job about encouraging kids to love to learn. The teaching methods are aggressive, not nurturing, for example, if a student answers a question wrong in class, he is scolded or humiliated by the teacher in front of his peers. Students spend most of the day with their teachers: they either grow to have strong attachments and respect for them, or they begin to fear them and dread going to school. Your children spend more time with their teachers than they spend with you on a daily basis, so the effect teachers have no them needs to be considered and evaluated. You need to pay very much attention to what kind of teacher is teaching your children and what affect they're having on them. Spending all day with a mean, uncaring, and un-nurturing teacher can do psychological harm to a child, and affect his ability to learn and study well.  So, if you notice that your children don't seem eager to learn and excel, you should assume that this is not from the fault of the child, or laziness on his part, rather a failure of either the teacher or the parents for not creating a good environment for the child to feel comfortable enough to try and excel-even if he fails!

I recently met a woman who told me about her son. He used to love school, he would get high grades and loved studying. Then suddenly he changed and she couldn't understand why. He would beg her to stay home from school, refuse to get out of bed in the morning, and stopped studying. Then she found out that he was being bullied at school. He was bullied by his classmates and ignored by his teachers, and all of these factors made him averse to and dread school! And these types of cases happen so frequently yet most of the time no solution is sought, so the child ends up become averse towards school for the rest of his life. 

Albert Einstein said

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

And it's also interesting to see that many of the people who have made large contributions in the fields of science and art also showed signs of late-development during childhood and even signs of autism. Albert Einstein was considered to not have fluent speech skills until the age of 9, was told by his teacher to leave school at the age of 15, which he did, and throughout his life he showed many signs of autism. 

Another problem is the restriction of learning to only the school subjects and only during the school year. When summer break starts, learning stops!

Poet and author Oscar Wilde said, "I never let schooling get in the way of my education." 

This means that school is not the fundamental place of learning, learning is a life-long process, and when you condition kids to learn during school and stop during break, you are teaching them one thing-that learning is a burden, that it's something we need a vacation from and something we only should do for tests and homework. Learning enriches life and expands the mind. Encourage kids not just to learn for the purpose of getting high grades in school, but let them learn outside the boundaries of school as well, find out what they're interested in and encourage them to learn as much as they can about it.

Consider this a metaphor of a child's mind and intelligence: At birth, each child comes equipped with a golden tent of creative potential all folded up inside. It is the task of the individual throughout life, to unfold that tent, and to the adults in each child's life to assist that process.

....how well are we doing?

When I was a child, I took countless classes, in French, Spanish, to play piano, the flute, science classes, pottery classes, I learned ballet and was even on a soccer team (that phase didn't last ;)) even though I was not a great soccer player, my parents still encouraged me, my dad still came to my games every week and convinced the coach to let me play. Was I excellent at all of these things? No! But it's only through trial and error that we can excel at the things we do enjoy and what we are good at. I was always slower than my classmates in math class, yet I always read at a more advanced level than the others, won speech contests and entered my stories and poems in contests and the school newspaper. If my intelligence had been defined by the one subject I was bad at, I wouldn't have had the confidence and desire to excel at other things: my abilities would have been restrained, and that is true with all children. Children who are told they will excel and praised will develop stronger confidence in their abilities. And we need to leave behind this idea that only those who can conform with obedience to the education system based on memorization, and repetition, not on individualized thought, are those who are intelligent. And when we limit the evaluation for smart to one rigid idea, we limit so many children from thriving in their own special way. Variation in skills and talents is what makes us a successful community within every field! We need to understand that such variation enriches the community of the believers and the scope within which righteousness and piety are realized in people’s lives.

Let us nurture learning in the correct way so that children can appreciate education as a gift and blessing from Allah. So they are able to thank Allah for the opportunity to learn and grow and gain education which is deprived to many, and in learning they can appreciate more of the wonders and miracles of Allah's creation and deepen their faith. And the main purpose of knowledge is not to attain high grades, but to use our knowledge to become closer to Allah and use that knowledge to help others in a way that pleases Allah سبحانه وتعالى   and makes us closer to Him.

If a love of education is not instilled at a young age, it can be hard and in some cases impossible to change a bad attitude towards learning and create good studying habits as children get older. And let's remember that a home that doesn't put knowledge of Islam (and practice of Islam) as the main priority will not be a home of guidance and happiness no matter how many degrees the household holds. 

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ: مَنْ سَلَكَ طَرِيقاً يَطْلُبُ فِيهِ عِلْماً سَلَكَ بِهِ طَرِيقاً إلَى الجَنَّةِ. وَإنَّ المَلائِكَةَ لَتَضَعُ أَجْنِحَتَهَا لِطَالِبِ العِلْمِ رَضاً بِهِ. وَإنَّهُ يَسْتَغْفِرُ لِطَالِبِ العِلْمِ مَنْ فِي السَّماءِ وَمَنْ فِي الأَرْضِ حَتّى الحُوتِ فِي البَحْرِ. وَفَضْلُ العَالِمِ عَلَى العَابِدِ كَفَضْلِ القَمَرِ عَلَى سَائِرِ النُّجُومِ لَيْلَةَ البَدْرِ. وَإنَّ العُلَمَاءَ وَرَثَةُ الأَنْبِيَاءِ. إنَّ الأَنْبِيَاءَ لِمْ يُوَرِّثُوا دِينَاراً وَلا دِرْهَماً، وَلَكِنْ وَرِثُوا العِلْمَ. فَمَنْ أَخَذَ مِنْهُ أَخَذَ بِحَظٍّ وَافِرٍ.

اللَّهُمَّ انْفَعَنِىْ بِمَا عَلَّمْتَنِىْ وَ عَلِّمْنِىْ مَا يَنْفَعَنِىْ